Sweet? Sixteen

Blondie turns the Magical Sixteen today. I was way more excited for it than she was.
Blondie- what would you like for your birthday? ...Idunno
What do you want for dinner? ...Idunno
Cake? Presents? Want to hang out with your friends? ...Idunno
Bah Humbug.

So its been a PJ and Charmed (gotta love Netflix addiction) day.
Happy Birthday Blondie

Lost in transit

Dammit. I write a brilliant, intriguing, fantistically written post- and then lost it.

Bummer.

Plum tuckered. The new IN color.

Its been a rough couple of days here on the Range, the Herd has been running wild. Not anything out of the ordinary, but still exhausting. Still trying to find my groove at work, and realizing that the Dream of one job employment is still going to be a figment of my over-active imagination. Yea me. Ahhh, the life of a single mom of seven...trying to bring home the bacon and keep gas in the Van. Both are obnoxiously spendy, aren't they? I think I might be a little grumpy too. Totally needing a My Guy Night- but unable to until Friday at the earliest. Grumble Grumble Grumble.

Catch up

OK, so with the Herd I have, and the job, and the house, and the chores.... I might get a little distracted. Deal with it. I have to! Since we last spoke, I have survived the Ex visit. An 8 year olds birthday. Recieving and distributing half a cow. Worked my hiney off. Sprayed ants like there is no tomorrow. I celebrated 1 whole year with My Guy, and helped him mourn and remember a loved one. I helped bring a friends child into the world. It's been a busy week. My Smarty Farty friend is coming to take the last of her exams, before allowing me to call her DR Smarty Farty, and I start the first in a series of Night Shifts. There are stirings of a plan for a beach run... but dont tell the herd- they get excited, then annoying- and Im not going to let them drive me nuts. If they make me crazy (ier) then I might miss the beach op... and thats sooo not going to happen. My Summer. My Beach. Mine.

Another Storm

Here in central War-shing-ton, we are desert people. The west side is wet and green, here we are tinderbox brown. Until recently- lightning, thunder, strange dumping of water from the sky...you'd a thought the end of the world was coming quicker than December!

So now, storm watching is the latest past time around here. Can't go do chores "a storms coming!!" mow the lawn? Nope, can't do it! Even the nurses on the unit were all about the weather. "Sure the ladys in labor...but the storm is HOW big?"

Seriously, the clouds roll in, the lightning flashes, the thunder crashes...and it rains. For like 10 minutes. Get to the arc people! Run!!

I tease. It rains for 11 minutes.

Teenagers

Dozer, My Dozer.

Arguing with a teenager is like nailing jello to the wall. Actually, I think the jello would be easier to deal with.

Last night, at 11:57pm he asks if he can take the car (the ONE vehicle we have at the moment) to hang out with his GF. He graciously offered to drive his sister in for her appointment...around the plans he had made for staying in town all day. 5 trips to town and back later, he "might" be able to work on the yard. A little. If its not to hot. Or windy. Or looks like it might rain. Or if hes got a headache. Or needed a nap. Or it was Monday, or something equally important.

Yea, no.

He thinks I'm unreasonable, unfair. I think hes just being a lazy ass. I'm the mom, I win. He stomped off to bed, and I slept well.

This morning, Blondie- who can't stand him any other time, starts to pick a fight with me about him being able to drive her. Hmmmmm. Fishy much? And then he gets up...without being bribed or threatened.

Teenagers teaming up? No good can come from this!!

Ohhh Monday

Yesterday, was nice. Met up with a few friends from high school for breakfast, hung out at home with the Herd, and pretty much dozed the day away. Its hard to turn off the ole brain sometimes, but when I am finally able to- ahhh, Magic!

Got to talk to My Guy for a little bit, but its hard to not miss him a ton with him living 90 minutes away...and us both having the schedules that we do. Sheesh, responsible grown up type people. Working. Paying bills. Raising kiddos- who'da thunk it might be a little challenging, right?

I can't believe its been almost a year since I first met him- and I am still in awe. To have a great guy, supportive, caring, and thoughtful...what a difference it makes.

Ok, now who hears that the Ex MIL is planning a trip over, and OFFERS to come and "just be there for you"...3 weeks after meeting him. And he did a fantabulous job. How can you just relax and be comfortable in a situation like that? Only My Guy :)

And he keeps coming back- gotta love that!

I know I do.
lol just thinking about My Guy gets me feeling all warm and fuzzy...just like him!

Class reunion

Last night the Party Hardy members of the Amazing Class of '92 met up at the local tavern. Yes, 1992. I'm THAT old.

I bailed on the meet and greet for a couple of reasons, not even considering that I look nothing like I did back in The Day. (Seven kids and a brownie addiction might have a little something to do with it. But I did/do love every stretch mark and chocolate induced ounce. NO regrets.)

I blame my absence on work, and not enjoying the whole bar thing.

I do have a habit of witching about needing a drink. Wishing I was a drinker. Loving Vanilla Vodka (which is like the best stuff ever...next to brownies and the beach of course.) and in general, talking a lot of smack about something I rarely ever do.

I have never been much of a fan of The Drinkin, or the behaviors of The Peoples when they do. They do offer a lot of great story material though...

Today, is a more family friendly group gathering. That is if the hangovers have eased... and the weather holds out. BBQ and a bonfire. Relaxed and casual- I'm starting to look forward to it!

It also give my BFF Meesh a reason to bring her butt back to town. Sheesh, like getting your Doctorate in Pharmacy might keep you a little busy or something- anyway, Its nice that she gets to come and hang out for awhile. I've kinda missed the Lady.

Details of the evening to follow

Friday the 13th...

With such an infamous date... you never really know what to expect.

For me, it started out with an email, and a text. The email was from work- I was on call for the evening shift. My first back after a 6 month break from the hospital. And the phone call was X2 wanting to see the kids, for the first time in 6 months. Yes, December was a weird month.

So...I did what I always do. Call My Guy to whine.

Well, he in all his wisdom said "Oh shut up- It will work out." Just the kick in the butt I needed. He is pretty groovy like that.

First issue- The hospital called, no biggie. But when I went in I was sent East... where all the scary IVs and PCAs and surgical patients are. I'm good with the babies, the exhausted mommas, and the nervous new dads. Sure there are always concerns and meds and care, it's just the post ops that make me nervous. And for my first solo shift back... double train wrecks...but I survived. And they did too. Always a good thing, right?

Second issue- the visit was scheduled...and I'm always stressed when there is an up coming visit. My Guy called and asked when was The Event... and said great- I was coming over then anyway. I told you he was groovy.

So Friday the 13th came and went, starting out pretty bleak, but finished up much better. Damn, he was right again. I'm not quite used to this whole "having a supportive guy to back me up" thing, but I think I kind of like it.

The Herd

There are many, many-many-many names that these kids of mine go by. Some have been spoken from my lips..other have been heard from the random people that seem to think they are civilized members of society.

They have been My Duckies, My Monkees, The Herd (of people I'm responsible for feeding) and the most commonly used "those are mine." This one is most often heard after the entire crew and I make an entrance (anywhere) and the kids do anything. Really. Walking and breathing included. "OMG are ALL THOSE yours?!" and "Those kids cleaned me out of samples...who do they belong to?!"...Umm yea.

They, as a group are a definite force to be reckoned with, I should know- Ive been out numbered for years now. And they can smell fear. Greater than the sum of their individual parts- they are often divided into smaller, more manageable groups (haha manageable?!)

The Big'uns, The Shorties, The Teens, The Twins, The Ladies, The Boys, The Tiny Hineys. Umm, yea. Those are mine.

When discussing The Herd with family, it is not uncommon to hear a child or group referred to "by the numbers"...Mom and Pop have 11 little monsters they lovingly call grandchildren... I am the proud claim holder to #1,2,3,4,5,7, and 9.

In order of relative size and approximate birth date (that's a lot of dates to remember...cut me some slack!) here are the Fruit Of My Wombs...

Dozer. He is my first born, curly haired, sings in Italian for the choir, electronic loving ladies man. He just turned 18, got his drivers license, and is planning on graduating high school this year. Actually I'm planning on him graduating, he seems to go for the choir, and the Ladies. He was nick named Dozer (short for bulldozer) when he was 2...it just seems to fir even more now. Its past noon and the lump on his bed is still snoring. He's amazing and completely frustrating. One of the biggest Smart Asses I have ever met. And that's an accomplishment- he comes from a long line of them.

Blondie. Who hates to have anything to do with the referencing of her natural hair color, especially when it rings sooooo true. She is 16 year old drop dead gorgeous girl, who has no idea that she is. She is also a singer, has made it through drivers training- by some act of God. She is my moody teen, my reader. She is a physics whiz...but too "bored" to turn in her other homework. She is a walking contradiction- and that is just one of the reasons why she's so awesome.

The Twinners, Double Trouble, Frick and Frack, This One and The Other One... They are my almost teenagers. They are the reason that my hairdresser can afford a vacation. Almost identical, hardly ever apart...they can swap personalities faster than you can say "wonder twin powers activate!!" They swap classes in school, love to swap clothes it family get togethers just to confuse the relations, and then get really upset if you mix them up when they don't want you to. These turkeys have always demanded - and receive- constant attention. They crack me up. They crack themselves up. They are always the first to remind us that crack kills. They are the cause of 89.7% of the reason I have the most impressive set of stretch marks this side of the neighborhood. Thanks girls. (and yes I can hear you giggling back there!!)

#5, is My T. He grew up, being bigger than his big twisters. I can't begin to tell you how many "Are they TRIPLETS?!" I heard on my many trips to WallyWorld. He is my newly minted 11 year old, super sensitive guy, with Angelina Jolie lips. He is my Dyslexic, allergic to bees, I can fix anything-kinda- handy man. He is the one who always knows when I need a hug, has the best- most infectious laugh I have ever heard, sweetest ornery guy out there.

Squash has been, and is possibly still the reigning Loudest Child on the Planet. He is a justifiable Smarty Pants- who has the smarts to back it up. This Boyo is a seven year, 11 month and 3 week old who is never wrong. Always explaining everything that you tell him, I can do it! little man. He is a firecracker and had he been #1 instead of my #6...he probably would have been a very only child. I love the stinker, but man- he does keep me on my toes!

Then there's Baby Girl, Princess Buttercup. The tiniest hiney of all. Shes unnaturally cute and knows it. She starts 1st grade this year and already has a herd of "boyfriends" even though they are mostly her big brothers buddies. She loves anything and everything super girly...so she can be properly dressed to climb trees and play in the mud. She is my sweetie pie.

I realize how awesome these guys are...just as I hear them destroying the living room! Gotta love 'em. Its in the handbook :)


*disclaimer. For all the whining, teasing, moaning, and gushing that I will obviously be writing about- I love these little Boogers far more than I could ever throw them. Honest. And kids, if you are reading this- your rooms still a mess, no you cant have $10, and quit licking your sister. Ahem.

The Doc says...

I'm not crazy. I just need a life. He wrote a script that said "You time. Join a gym, go for a swim, go out on a date." I've know this doc since nursing school (and life stress) sent me to him for anti-depressants and a sanity check. He's seen my ups and downs, knows my quirks and priorities, and understands that without a prescription- there wasn't going to be anyway that I would actually follow his suggestions...without a doctors order.

Tricky Doc, very tricky!

So, since I need to find a way to express myself, and writing is about as ME as I can get...Here I am. Since this is new to me- and I am new to you...I figure a little introduction is in order. I wouldn't want to be rude!

Hi. My name is Amy. I'm a ... ahh. umm, yea.

I didn't think it would be that hard to describe myself. I have always been someones daughter, sister, wife (or ex-wife), or mother. Its kinda hard to see myself as anything other than those labels, but I am trying. I guess that's probably why I am here writing.

Basic background information- and I retain the right to add more to this later...

I am a twice divorced, single momma raising all SEVEN (Umm, yea...) of my biologically manifested Herd of Children (those are mine.) I will introduce those Monkees in a little bit, they are the reason I'm the way I am. For good, or not so good...they are definitely keepers.

I have a chaotic cast of characters that I am lucky enough to call my friends and my family- who are amazing and have yet to formally have me committed. I think I might keep them too.

I put myself through college...starting when I was about 45 months pregnant with my fifth baby, and in the middle of my first divorce. Fast forward a few more years...a new husband, a couple more kids- and I start nursing school. Get my degree, and divorce number 2.

Then real life began. Again.

So here I am... a couple years out. I'm still working, parenting, PTA-ing, chaperoning, living, loving...and getting ready to start a Dual Masters Program. Notice how sleep never once comes into the conversation?! I'm sure I will whine, I mean discuss that later.

Evidently, I seem to like a challenge. And have a lot of pent up angst and stories to share. Ohhh Lucky You! (and I plan to write this as if I am speaking to someone out there...because talking to myself is just a little too close to crazy.)

Since the Dr ordered some Me Time, gyms creep me out, its too damned hot to go for a walk, the pool is out of the question for the moment, and My Guy is off working... I figured that this might be a good way for me to unwind, vent a little, and be able to get "it all" out of my head.

So until next time, and thanks for listening...Please remember...

Peace is good, sanity is better, and brownies are the key to happiness and a wide waist line.